What is the syndrome of the little dictator and what symptoms help us to know if our son is or not? We also offer you some tips on what you should do about it to help him in his behavior.
The little one has come home, we fill him with love and, as we often say, we make him the King of it. We shower him with gifts, we prevent him from feeling uncomfortable, and we pamper him and inadvertently try to give him every whim.
In principle, something that we see as positive can transform our son over time into a small dictator. By dictator we understand that person who abuses his authority and harshly treats others.
The dictator, is he born or is he made?
It is true that children, from the time they are in the last stages of pregnancy and at the beginning of their first days, carry with them part of the genetic load that will form their character. But definitely genetics do not mark or turn our son into a dictator.
From 6 years of age and up to adolescence, this syndrome can begin to appear and can later become a pronounced personality characteristic in adulthood. Obviously the bigger our dictator, the more difficulties we will have to mitigate him and educate him with adequate guidelines.
Little Dictator Syndrome
We can talk about our son becoming a little dictator when the roles at home have changed. It is the child who rules and the parents who obey. The child who explodes in anger and the parents who hide.
Children who demand and parents who surrender. Appearing in many cases both verbal and physical violent episodes in order to achieve the objectives.
Spotting the dictator: what he is usually like
Today, with tight schedules and calendars without spaces, many parents are forced to leave their children at daycare or with a family member. In recent years, parents’ feelings of guilt have increased and, as such, “compensations”.
“Since I haven’t seen the child all day today, I’m going to give him a toy”, “I’m going to let him go to bed later”, “it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t pick up”, “he gets angry with me because I haven’t been with him”, “I’m going to reward him.” In this way the child is not compensated, in this way he is creating a small person who does and says what he wants, always being justified and without consequences.
Below we will list some personal characteristics that can help us to recognize if at home we are creating a small dictator:
- He is hedonistic: he always looks for activities that comfort him and give him pleasure without taking into account other situations.
- He is egocentric: his center of thought is him. He does not notice others or put himself in their place.
- He has a low tolerance for frustration: as soon as a situation escapes his grasp or things are not done in his own way, he explodes, mounts, yells, kicks, etc.
- They have manipulative behaviors: they are capable of manipulating the people around them using shame, guilt or lying in their favor.
- They have no sense of responsibility or it is very low: the tasks have to be done for him and he does not need to explain anything to anyone. Since they get used to being constantly justified.
I think my son is a little dictator, what do I do?
You must first acknowledge it. You and your family. This fact is complicated since we tend to think that we do not know how to educate, that we are negligent and that we are above harming when we believe that we are favoring. Nobody is born knowing, and educating is learned by educating.
Once the problem is recognized, take action. The most important thing is to establish a coherent educational line in relation to the closest people who are taking care of your child’s education. In other words, the family must establish the same guidelines, punishments, limits and rewards for the child’s behavior.
Be clear about the limits and do not lower your guard. He has to understand that the borders are drawn by you. Don’t justify the behaviors and work them through routines, routines, and more routines.
Fight your child’s confrontations and challenges with love and understanding but without giving up your limits. Don’t yell at him, make him understand how things are. React calmly and make yourself respected by simply not letting your child take ground that does not belong to him. Don’t get into arguments, just remember the rules and repeat them. Be strong and remember that education is a long-distance race and not a miracle.
Try to teach him empathy and always be an example for him. Work responsibility and awareness and impact of their actions with others.
You are not alone, contact the school, they will know how to guide you or they will refer you to a specialist in the event that this syndrome is at its peak.
