Emotion and MindFriendship: the value of learning to share and trust others

Friendship: the value of learning to share and trust others

Friendship is a relationship that must be forged between two people, in a sincere and trusting way, and that also helps us discover the value of sharing and giving without expecting anything in return.

The bond of friendship tends to provide some satisfaction, emotional support, security, and especially helps us develop good self-esteem.

It helps us, for example, from the feeling of acceptance and appreciation that we receive from others; especially on the part of those people that each of us consider as friends.

This is so, because through friendship we learn to trust and share, helping us discover how good we feel by helping other people.

And it is that when we feel graced by friendship, emotions as insane as mistrust or hatred can be tempered thanks to this type of relationship.

How to build a friendship?

Especially with the first meeting between two people, a process tends to begin that can end in friendship.

However, we must bear in mind that there are people (especially the most insecure) who think that if in that first meeting friendship does not arise, it is because they have failed, something that, as we can imagine, would be far from reality.

In these cases, we must think that, for example, the right circumstances have not yet occurred for a certain friendship to be forged. In any case, the only certainty at this point is that no one has failed.

Truth and sincerity in friendship

That the friendship relationship implies the trust in truth between two people, is nothing new. No one would deny that two people who lie to each other, or who are not honest with each other, cannot be considered friends, in the strictest sense of the term.

However, in the name of that friendship, should the whole truth be told to the other person? In other words, what comes first, friendship or sincerity? Obviously, the answer is not easy, because we have all been faced with similar situations at some time in our lives. And, in the end, we have always been left with the bitter feeling that either we have not been frank with our friend, or we have hurt him by telling him the whole truth.

In reality, it is a conflict of values, since in friendship, these two realities are taken for granted, as the fundamental basis that sustains the relationship. However, neither truth nor sincerity can be above love or charity. The problem arises when we think that beyond the affection that unites two people, there is always telling the truth, at any cost.

This fallacy entails many problems, since the truth is part of any serious relationship that human beings establish with their peers. However, friends are chosen in another order of realities, where love is the main guarantee of that unity.

The question is very simple, if telling the whole truth in a friendship involves physical or  moral pain, it is better to abstain, as long as what is hidden is not detrimental to the relationship itself. The truth does not need intermediaries, but love goes through mediations such as respect, time, or maturity, which postpone or hide the truth until it stops doing harm.

Tips to open ourselves to friendship

  • Do not pretend that a friendship will tend to form yes or yes in what is known as the “first meeting”. Try to be yourself, without expecting anything.
  • The previous advice could be equivalent to not trying to go too fast, since friendship is something that tends to consolidate over time.
  • There is no such friend who can share your areas of interest, or who can connect with all aspects of your own personality. This type of friend does not exist, since each one is as he is, and we must accept him precisely as he is.

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